New School

I cried when the appeal hearing ruled in our favour.  I couldn't help it.  I felt we had been on a long and bumpy road for a year and a half and finally we had reached the end.

I remember being so happy, and Emily was happy too.  We knew the new school had a fantastic reputation.  We knew they had strong anti bullying policies which were actively enforced.

When I talked to Emily about her feelings she was ashamed, felt she was making a fuss out of nothing and maybe that she'd deserved the treatment she received.

I talked to her at length.  Emily never told any of her friends about her feelings or what she was going through.  They all cried when she left her old school, they just had no idea how she had been feeling.

To begin with it was hard to get her to talk to me.  She would just sit, really quietly, withdrawn.  I knew something was wrong.  I cuddled her, talked to her, encouraged her.  Eventually, she would talk.  She found it very hard to put her feelings into words.  She just felt everything was against her and she would never be happy again.

If I'm honest I knew she'd been depressed for some time.  I could see my own behavour in hers.  For some reason I didn't want to give it a name.  I had this real hope that if I could just get her into the new school she would be ok.  She would be safe and the wounds of the previous months would begin to heal.  I talked to her about the bullies having chipped away at her.  How her confidence had been eroded and that it was understandable given what she had been through.  I told her it was like having a hole inside.  The bullies had dug away and made that hole.  I truely believed that the new school would begin to fill the hole back in.